Sarah Goad, Editor in Chief and Lord Commander of Face Beat It

All shall love me and despair.

Ryan Smythe: Staff Writer, Podcast Host, Terrible Artist

Ryan Smythe Staff Photo

I’m responsible for the janky logos on this site as well as some of the content. Honestly, I’m just here because SG doesn’t stop me from making puns.

Bruce Donnelly: Staff Writer

Basically, I’m LeBron, and this shithole is Cleveland.

Elizabeth Barcelos: Guest Writer, Frequent Podcast Crasher

Quidditch mom. SJSU’s mouthiest alumna. Silicon Valley snarker. Can name most of Cal Quidditch’s roster.

Mitchell Hatfield: Guest Writer

Mitch Hatfield Staff Photo

Some may call me a very sedimental man, but really I just wake up every day ready to rock your socks off.

Ryan Sparks: Staff Writer, Podcast Host

By day I go by Rychu, but when darkness falls and the city needs me, I don my cape to become Captain Queer. With so many assholes running this site, someone needs to stand up for justice and the Great Lakes.

Marcus: Guest Writer, Self Proclaimed Journalistic Consultant

Marcus Toomey Staff Photo

I make sure these dorks don’t forget the Northwest. Sometimes I actually play the sport too. Also, I’m bout that action boss.

Ali Markus: Guest Writer

Ali Markus Staff Photo

Ali has no chill.

Carlos “Jefferson Steelflex” Flores: Musician Extraordinaire

Carlos Flores Staff Photo

I honestly have no idea.